All kinds of things are happening here at the moment. After the Welsh
course on Thursday I returned to work on Friday to find a meeting request
from my Line Manager. It was regarding meetings I prepare. My first
thought was ‘What have I done wrong?’ and then my stomach did a somersault
and my heart went down to my feet. I try to do my job well and others
around me seem to do theirs so efficiently. I am trying not to worry about
the forthcoming meeting but I am a perfectionist and if I don’t get things
right I feel as if life is a complete disaster! I think the answer is that
I try my best at what I do, I’m just not the best at doing it no matter how
hard I try. Anyway, I’m either in for a confidence boost or a huge leap in
my lack of it which is probably the most likely.
I am sure all this stems from the high standards which were set by the Royal
Normal College for the Blind when it was at Rowton Castle, Shrewsbury and I
was a student there. You had to be absolutely the best at whatever you did
and nothing less would do. I totally agree with this outlook on life and
wish more people had it these days.
Well, it looks as if I won’t be singing near Christmas after all. The local
choir I had hoped might ask me to be their soloist in a performance have got
someone else so I’ve been told. I have only sung with them once previously
and that was several years ago. This concerns me. Why don’t blind and
partially sighted musicians who have plenty of ability, nothing
extraordinary, just the things which have been achieved by a lot of study
and hard work, get asked to do those wonderful prestigious performances like
the soloist in an Oratorio or that recital which the local Music Society or
whatever the organisation might be, has always wanted. I must admit I have
been fortunate. I will remember for the rest of my life, the experience of
singing the Soprano solo part in Handel’s ‘Messiah’ with the Derbyshire
Singers when Catherine Wynne-Rogers was the Alto soloist. Her encouragement
was wonderful. It’s more things like that that I would like so hopefully,
there’s someone out there looking for a soloist who might read this blog. I
sincerely hope so.
Anne.